When I first saw you, I feel in love and you smiled because you knew.

Well, last Sunday night was such an incredible surprise, and those two days and three nights I got to spend with my beautiful princess were incomparable. But, we all know the truth, kids, any time I am allowed to spend with her is amazing to me.

This weekend, well Friday specifically, will be the day I won't have worry about her leaving to be two bleeding hours away from me. Unfortunately, however we'll be living under my father's roof and honestly I'm not really looking forward to it...but the good thing is while we're living there we virtually have no bills to pay, save gas and whatever we want food-wise, but aside from that...no utilities, no rent and so on. So, that basically means we will be able to save a ton of money so we can get a place.

June and I are going to do everything in our power to get our own place and truly make it ours. Are we going to settle there?

Eh...possibly and possibly not...

That depends wholly on what exactly it is we find to rent out for right now. We would like to find a place that's cheap enough and cost-efficient..but we also do not want a rat-hole, and both she and I have lived in less-than-desirable houses...so, we're going to our best to make it the best we can.

With the wheel of the year nearing the peak of its rotation, we're trying to think of what exactly we both need to let go to better ourselves. We're also trying to figure out how we're supposed to prepare for the dark months ahead.

When I'm with her, she makes me feel like I can conquer anything, and together we can do just that, accomplish bloody anything.

When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky.

I must say, it's been quite sometime since I've actually had the time or the right mindset to work on a blog entry; nonetheless actually will myself to do it. Since the last post, Thursday, November 24, 2011, quite a bit of things have changed. Hell, I'll be honest a lot of things have changed.

Nothing has changed between the princess and I, mind you, but we have both been through some rather bothersome times together. If it weren't for her, in actuality, I truly do not believe I would have made it through without her. And through our hardships, I believe we've grown stronger, and with each waking day, I am grateful to spend it with her, even in spite of all the bull-shit that most of the time seems to bloody follow me.

She is not currently at the house, she is work tonight, which is bloody aggravating because we do not have an actual day off together this week, only a few hours each day and when we sleep on certain nights, which in my opinion is complete rubbish. That of course most certainly does not mean I do not enjoy our times together, because I do, as all of you know. It's the fact that our times together always seem so bloody rushed because of our schedules now.

Such is the sad fate of the world, it's quite literally impossible for me to support the both of us unless I made twelve figures a year, and unfortunately enough for me, I hardly make a single figure in fact I'm not even bloody sure I make that. The important thing is, I have her in my life and that makes everything all the better.

She's texting me occasionally when she gets the time at work, and I am counting the hours until she gets home, because I do miss her. I missed her the moment she left the vehicle to go to work, as I watched her leave, it pained me. But, in a few hours she'll be back home, and I can wrap my arms around her in a lovely embrace, cuddle up against her and pull her close as we both drift into slumber.

I'll admit I still have a fear sometimes when I wake up that all these past few months have been naught but a dream, and luckily, so far that has not been the case. There's no bloody person in this world who truly understands how much she means to me, even she is skeptical still, but this princess, this lovely woman of mine I adore with all my heart and nothing is ever going to change that; and most certainly no one is ever going to take her away from me.

I love you, darling, and I cannot wait to see you when you get off work. As for me, I'm going to get a little sleep because as you know, I do have to work in the evening tomorrow and I also want to be attentive enough to my surroundings to make sure I get there safe to pick you up, and in return brings us back to the house safely.

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

I'll admit it, when I walked out our bedroom this afternoon to head to work, I missed her immediately then. She's at her parents' house today and yesterday night and I'm going over there after work to spend Thanksgiving with her and her family. It's so peculiar to actually have people welcome me into their home.

The only places I've felt welcome was Granny's and Maw's growing up, even in my own home I felt like a stranger, but at the princess's family's place...it just feels right, y'know? It's going to be difficult to sleep without my princess next to me tonight, but she's on the phone as I'm typing this. She's asleep, my beautiful love, she makes me happier than she'll ever know and I hope one day I can prove to her just that.

I love you with all my heart, princess, forever and always I shall. Sleep well, and I cannot wait to see you today.

Good night love.

Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.

So it's now been almost a month or literally a month since the princess and I started living together. My best friend and I traveled up to the hell-hole she was living in and brought her back down here.

When I saw her for the first time in person, I was beyond shy. I stuttered when I spoke, I was awkward and I didn't talk too much either. She actually thought I didn't like her anymore, silly girl, you took my breath away and continue you to do so every time I see your lips curve into a smile and spread across your beautiful face.

Every moment has been a gods' send and I treasure every little slice of it. I remember waking up sometimes throughout the night to make sure she was still on the line, whereas now I often find myself sometimes waking up and looking over and giving her hand a gentle squeeze...and when she gently squeezes back or smiles with a soft moan it makes my heart quiver and swell. For awhile there, I was afraid to go to sleep, especially the ride back to Macross City. I fell asleep with my head in her lap with her hands softly running through my hair, and she told me in my sleep I took her hand into mine and gently squeezed. She didn't sleep until the last few hours of the trip, and like her with my hand running gently through her hair.

I still remember the first time I actually held her hand and was apparent of it...and it still sends shivers down spine and I'm filled with, well, for a lack of word, butterflies.

And when I was actually able to feel her lips against my own again; well, I'm bloody well sure you all know just how wonderful it was for me. Also, like every time I interlace my fingers betwixt her own or take her hand softly into mine... every time her lips press against mine I fee; as though everything had transformed and become enchanted as if there is nothing else in the world but her.

She went to her parents' house today, well yesterday to spend the weekend with them before her birthday, which-so happens to be Monday, everyone. I also am going to spend time with all of them, actually tonight after work, I'm driving to spend the night and spend the day with her and her family for her birthday.

I made a dessert for the occasion and I bloody hope everyone likes it, it tastes delicious to me, but then again I adore Bailey's Irish Cream anyhow, so, here goes nothing, eh?

Good night princess, it's going to be difficult to sleep without you by my side tonight...but, in my dreams and when I close my eyes, you're still here. Sleep well, love, and I'll see you later today.

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.

It's early morning still, well early morning for me but it's ok, I managed to get breakfast and be able to talk to the princess too. In fact, that's what I'm doing, well texting her anyway because she's in class and she'll be in class for about half an hour more.

I'm really glad I got the My Circle thing taken care of, because I must say it'd be weird not be able to talk to her as much as I do. If you all hadn't caught on by now, I fancy this girl a bit, and I've become a bit caught up with this girl. I don't mind at all, mind you, in fact I'd rather it not be any other way but this. She does mean everything to me and I would most certainly do anything for her.

There's only a little over six weeks left until I can be with her, it's only a week and I am most certainly not going to want to leave without her...or leave her there for that matter, and I'm going to savor every bloody moment I have with her. Keep in mind, princess, I'm sure there's going to lots of pictures to be taken and lots of spoiling in store for you...well as much as I can do.

Tonight's Friday, so that means it should be busier than the past few days which means more money and as much as I'd love to rush home to be able to talk with the princess, I know that I have work to do and it must be done for all the right reasons.

People have asked me why I always text her, why am I always on the phone, and I always say, "You don't understand how difficult it is to have the only person you feel whole with, the only person you can say truly makes you happy and the only person you truly love be ten and half hours away from you. That is all I have available for me to be with her, it's the only way and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss a single moment of it."

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.

So things get difficult at times, but we press on and fight for what we hold most dear in our lives. When obstacles try to obstruct the way for you, to that which you hold dear...well, you'll overcome any obstacle no matter what and that's just what I'm going to bleeding do. If I have to work overtime, if I have to work six days, well, as I said, that's just what I'll do.

Apparently I ran up the phone bill, and I had to use most of my savings save like thirty some odd dollars to help pony up to pay the part of the bill that I ran up. I'll admit, I should've been more cautious and I should've listened to the princess when she was asking about it, and she was right, like she usually is. But there's also a few things she's not right about, and I'm sure she knows what I'm talking about.

But at any rate, it was a bit weird not being able to wake up and be able to talk to her. I love talking to her and it feels weird not being able to talk and call her all the time, but that's going to change considering I put on the My Circle plan, and you know what that means kids, I can talk too the princess all I bloody want and not have to worry about doing that again. We fall sleep together...well the best way we can, we stay on the phone. And it's rather odd, because one of us always wakes up when the phone cuts off and texts, "What happened... call me back?" And it always usually ends up with one of us calling back as soon as possible, shortly thereafter falling right back asleep.

But yeah.. it felt really strange not being able to wake up and have her there to talk to, and the other night we actually got off the phone to sleep, whereas last night we got off before peak-times started, thank the gods she woke up, because I didn't hear my alarm. Honestly? It's comforting for me to hear there, because when I close my eyes, I can literally feel her and it's easier for me to imagine her laying in my arms, cuddling, kissing or whatnot, even just laying there, enjoying her presence, y'know?

I'm not going to beat around the bush and say I'm not tangled up in this girl, and I'm aware that it may be too early to let down the walls...but she isn't just some dame, she isn't just some girl and she isn't a random crush. I would do anything and will do anything to show her my sincerity of feelings and she will see.

I must say I rather hate being so far away from her...but that's going to change in six-weeks! That's right, I'm going to spend time with the princess come hell or high-water...that's a peculiar phrase, but point being, I'm going to see her and I can hardly wait.

At any rate, I'm going to get another cup of coffee and talk to her some more on Facebook, take care kids.

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

I remember when I was a bit younger, I would sit and listen to the rain...and I wasn't sure why I would feel an overwhelming sense of longing and despair for something I could not hold...for something to feel, and yet I knew there was something out there, or rather someone, but I could not find. No matter how bleeding hard I looked, I'd always end back where I started.

The dreams I would have would often reinforce this idea, reinforce this longing for that person. Yet as I said before, I did know who they were and for all I knew it could've been just a dream; even though I prayed that it were not. 

Then some miraculous happened, which I'm sure you all know what it is I'm referring to. Nothing has been the same since then. I no longer feel that hole, other than the fact said person is ten hours away from me, but like Richard Bach said, "If you want to be with someone you love, aren't all ready there." And that's true, I know there are times she can feel it and as can I, but I do long to actually be there and in time, I suppose, after all what's the use in rushing things.

I truly believe that we are supposed together again, there are too many coincidences to suggest anything other than that. I just abhor the fact that she has been like she has this time....that I was not there to protect her again, just like before and I hate myself for that. I'm aware there quite literally nothing I could do to help with the things she went through, I didn't know her...well I did, I just hadn't been acquainted again.

The fact, however, remains I'd do anything in this world for her and she's aware of that. I know very well she is...that's all I've ever wanted...is to make her happy, and you're all aware that I live for that each day. I'll be whatever she needs me to be, and I'll wait. I don't bleeding care how long I have to wait. Hell, I've waited this long hadn't I? What harm can it do?

We've something that I'm sure not many have in this world do...I truly believe that, as I truly believe in what I feel for you, princess. Times change us, I'm aware, and the experiences we have shape who we are and due to that inevitably, we are going to be different. I don't give a damn about what books say, I can feel it in my heart. Beating organ or not, simply pulsing life it too has feelings, otherwise then why praytell would it flutter when I hear you whisper those words to me? 

Why would it skip a beat when I see you smile when we are talking on the webcam? If it were just an organ, it would not do that, and I would most certainly and will not believe anything else. I adore you, like I've said so many times before. I always have, and I forever will and there's nothing that will ever change that. 

I'm aware we're different this time around, gods know I am, I definitely aren't the catch I used to be, but my feelings...they have not changed and they never will, and I don't want you to ever forget that. I'm here for you no matter what, no matter what happens I always will be.

Nicholas Sparks had a wonderful quote, that he had written....it sums up everything.. "I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices might be." And I know without a doubt, without a second thought that is what I have.

If I am wrong to feel this way, I don't care, we are friends, I'm aware of that. But I'm also aware that I love you, and you me...and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that in the slightest.